glaciates | THIRD REBELLION ❅ TEXT

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THIRD REBELLION ❅ TEXT

[A text hits the network around noon. It's very short and to the point, though it's not specifically addressed to anyone.]

How do you tell the difference between someone you're just friends with and someone you're romantically interested in?

[...Obviously it comes from Isaac. No one else could fail social on this level. At least he was trying to keep his fail minimized! The text was supposed to be private to Hughes. Unfortunately... Isaac is a fail with technology too. Have fun trolling!]

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[Well, the silence should be some sort of indication, Kimblee! Start guessing!]

[You don't mind if he's just made of orz, right?]

...hmmm, if you're going to insist...

[ohohoho, so we're going to make a game of it

excellent]

Given that you know you can talk to me about things in general, I'd think that this wouldn't be met with "It's none of your business" if it wasn't anyone that I knew - I'd think you'd try to use that angle immediately. If it's none of my business, however, I'll just assume for now that it's someone I know reasonably well. And if it's someone you're considering a friend, it's obviously someone you've known for at least a while...

[...

... ... ...

...oh.

Oh, Isaac...]

[Isaac, that's precious!]

I assume Miss Altava has no idea, then?

[SCREAM]

[OH GOOD GOD, DYING. THAT'S NOT WHAT HE MEANT AT ALL, KIMBLEE!!!]

Wh-what? No, it's not...! I'm not interested in Emmy.

[The stuttering and the flailing isn't helping his case any, is it...]

Oh, come now! Don't be so shy, she seemed to rather like you - I assume you got along quite well after I left the two of you to head north for a while?

Ah, but either way, I'm sure she would be receptive to the idea of a date, at the very least. You're [not completely unfortunate! ...uh no Kimblee let's not go there, you're trying to get your junior to have a spine, not break what little he already has] an attractive person, after all, and she's a lovely girl.

What?

[Oh come on, surely you didn't forget about Archer, Kimblee! He's still down here on the floor, rolling around with his cats, thank you very much! He's the most dignified villain ever!!]

[...He's also the most displeased thing ever. HAVE YOU SEEN ISAAC'S FACE, KIMBLEE?]

[...excuse him, Isaac, Kimblee will just be leaning over to give his partner in dignified villainy a bit of an annoyed look.]

Archer, would you please stay out of this - if you're going to involve yourself in the conversation, at least have the decency to get off the floor first.

[...welcome to Friday afternoons in Kimblee's room, Isaac. Back to business!]

Right, well. Shall I call Miss Altava, then? I mean, assuming you don't want to...

[...what did he just witness...]

[Well, besides the obvious fact that you pissed off your live-in, bitchy boyfriend.]

[...no seriously, what does he do with this knowledge.]

No, no way. I can handle this, Kimblee. Really.

[If only because then he won't have to call Emmy and everything will totally work out! Because avoiding the issue always works!]

[He pissed off...what

Not...not at all, Isaac, but okay...]

So it is Miss Altava, then.

[What do you mean not at all...? You two are always together and he bosses you around and--]

[...Wait. Are you his bondage slave or something? Because that would explain everything.]

...If I say it is, will you drop it?

[Say hello to desperation!]

[...if he ever hears about any of this...]

Mm...no, because now you're just humoring me.

[Well, hello there, desperation! Allow me to introduce you to your senior being a pain in the ass.]

[...orz]

Look, none of this is any of your business, Kimblee. I'll take care of it myself, alright?

[Has he mentioned he kind of hates his meddling senior?]

[And that will just get a light laugh out of said meddling senior.]

All right, all right, Isaac. If you insist.

[...Well that was easier than he thought! He doesn't like lying, but... well. What choice does he have here? He certainly can't tell Kimblee the truth.]

Good. I'll take care of it.

[...The fact that his whole brain is crying might be giving him away a bit, huh.]

[It's cute how optimistic you are.]

Excellent. You can start by not lying to me.

[...but yes, fine, he'll still let up just a little, okay.]

Really, I don't see why this is something you seem so worried about; we're hardly children anymore, Isaac.

[...orz]

This isn't something I really want to discuss.

[...Hang on, you'll call him out on that, won't you?]

I mean, I meant to only message Hughes about it.

Hughes?

[...oh good lord]

Isaac, are you planning to marry this woman? Because I can tell you right now that that's what Hughes is going to start planning for...

Th-that's not...!

[...that wouldn't work anyway... But that's just a minor detail and oh my god why did you put this mental image in his head he needs brain-bleach, Kimblee! Brain-bleach!!]

I figured he'd be the easiest person to talk to about this.

[Besides his other options are uh... you or... Emmy or... Armstrong if he really wanted to die of embarassment... and that's about it. What is having friends.]

Well, yes, if you want to have a speech leveled at you about how much better your life would be with the lovely wife and children you're set to have.

That's--!

...I... didn't actually think about that.

[THE AMOUNT OF orz HERE]

[ISAAC...]

Have you ever properly spoken to Hughes?

Yeah, of course I have! It just slipped my mind, alright?

[Their first conversation turned into "LET'S FIND YOU A WIFE" so uh. Not entirely sure how he managed this.]

[oh, facepalm]

Shall I keep my eye out for an invitation to the wedding, then?

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SHAMELESS THREADJACK

...WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING HERE

HILARITY IS ENSUING

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